(Those who were living in pain for a very long time, that's who.) So starting over looks different for every person, especially depending on what your marriage looked like in the day-to-day, who initiated the divorce, and how long you were married.
We more than likely never dreamed we'd be on our own, so we never bothered to prepare for that circumstance. Or, if the marriage was extraordinarily difficult, we may find ourselves resisting feelings of relief and excitement, emotions that seem wrong and that invoke guilt.
Every year my church hosted a singles retreat in Destin, Florida on Labor Day weekend.
It was the first year I went, and even though it was for singles, I was dating someone at the time, a man previously married. My boyfriend and I spent time together, but we weren’t inseparable like you might think.
But what does starting over after divorce look like? You cannot see the forest for the trees; you cannot see around the bend.
In the aftermath of a divorce, every man and woman needs to decide how he or she will start over.
You don't want to pick the wrong person again or miss the right person.
Preparing for remarriage takes for careful evaluation and prayer. As Jesus promised, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" (Lk. The dating process is the first step toward separating wheat from chaff in helping you make a responsible and wise choice before God about whom you remarry; someone with whom to share your vision and commitment to make the relationship .
When you hear the word divorce, even if you aren't divorced yourself, I would bet that almost instantly you conjure up images of pain and tears, of yelling and courtrooms, of kids with backpacks, of lawyers and paperwork, of anger and sadness. Statistics tell us that divorce is the second highest stressor after the death of a spouse. The only difference, which can make it more unnerving to walk through, is that the spouse is still alive and well in the world, and you must continue at times to interact with him.
But a divorce is the death of a marriage and the death of your dream for it.