As expected, women initiating divorce ultimately identify their spouse as the “true” initiator.
The irony is that men, despite their own dissatisfaction are more likely to resist divorce.
But much of this too is to avoid the complex array of losses and challenges divorce presents a man.
Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.
And you might think that means his divorce will be smooth, simple, and unemotional. You will have opinions about how things are or are not getting resolved at times – and that’s also understandable.
But there’s nothing like a not-yet-ex finding someone new to make the person who wanted the divorce in the first place have second thoughts about splitting up. As a result, your fun, new relationship with Ben will get bumped and bruised in the process of Ben’s divorce.
You see, I separated from my ex two years ago, and our divorce was final about eight months later.
I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc.And when that happens, it’s anything but smooth, simple, and unemotional. That’s wear and tear on your relationship that would never have happened if Ben had wrapped up his divorce before you two started dating.Even if that doesn’t happen, a divorce, no matter how civil, is nobody’s idea of a good time. So, yes, in a perfect world, people would conclude their previous relationships, paperwork and all, before entering into new ones.The majority immediately scramble to salvage their marriages, citing family or finances, prepared to agree to anything to keep their world in tact.Often this is in reaction to the shock, and not being prepared.